Attract > Engage > Commit
The Relationship-Building Framework: Lighthouse, Port, City
There are three stages to connection:
What attracts people at first (e.g., an invitation or a conversation starter)
What gets them engaged, making the meet again and more often (e.g., "we should do this again soon," or "let's grab coffee/dinner this week?")
What makes them stay connected and build close relationships (as friends, partners in business or life)
To deepen connections at a scalable level, I crafted this simple funnel framework to help me design and organize how I bring people together according to their connection stage.
Using the metaphors of Lighthouse, Port, and City.
Lighthouse (Attraction)
Like a beacon that guides ships at sea, your goal is to attract and become a reference within your cause, industry, or area of impact. Lighthouse content, events, or products are often your first interaction with most of your community, playing a key role in building a brand.
Examples:
Large music festivals (Coachella);
Massive boot camps (Hackathons);
Industry-based conferences (Web Summit).
These events attract a wide range of people who share a similar interest at different levels of commitment. They attract hundreds to thousands of individuals who might or not feel instantly connected to your core.
This stage aims to attract people and lead a high percentage of them to the next stage, the Port, where they will be engaged and find reasons to come back.
Port (Engagement)
Give people a place to come back to. We might come back to a port for different reasons than the initial attraction that got us there. This stage aims to build engagement through content, program, or activities that bring people to dive deeper and feel closer to your core (values, principles, and purpose). It is all about getting to know each other better and more profoundly.
Over time, we start to notice people we've seen before and feel familiar with the place. We create memories around it, greet those who used to be strangers, have more intimate conversations, and start to feel at home.
Examples:
Private dinners series for active members and regulars;
Platforms and interactive content (e.g., newsletters);
Shared calendar of activities, discussions, or events that further curate and narrow down interests to connect a niche audience.
This stage is about engagement: you're giving people recurring reasons to return until they feel like they belong.
The purpose is to build relationships with people who share your core the most, building closeness over time until it becomes belonging.
City (Commitment)
A place where people live, where they are in touch with a vast world of opportunities and people who make them feel at home. This stage is about commitment: it's when people decide to stay and play an active role in your community, becoming a crucial part of it. Attracted by a lighthouse, we found reasons to return to a port where we met interesting people and places that felt good. Over time, we build close relationships and memories that make us feel like we belong. We went beyond the Port, investing in a City. We felt at home and decided to stay.
Examples:
Advocacy programs (e.g., ambassadorship)
Referral programs (e.g., members directly contributing to growth)
Creating roles for community members to contribute (e.g., members taking on leadership roles or starting a new chapter of your community in a different city)
This is the stage of active contribution when you create roles for people to add concrete and direct value to your community.
It is about creating roles for active people to hop in and making space for them to take responsibility and be part of growing your community beyond merely participating in it. By trusting them, delegating roles, and empowering them with knowledge and tools, they can fly out, spread the word, and help you grow.
It is important to note that, at this stage, you must build close relationships with those you trust most on a reciprocal basis.
This stage aims to multiply your potential to grow your community through the contribution of your most committed members.
